The Lode: Journalism in Question

Ladies and gentlemen, something very troubling has taken place: the integrity of the Michigan Tech Lode is in question. I came to this startling conclusion as I was playing my favorite game: Where's the Typo? In this game, I go through the Lode news articles and highlight the grammatical and spelling mistakes with a yellow highlighter. In the past three issues I've found 29 spelling, grammar, and journalistic mistakes. Some more nit-picky than others, but i think within reason. I generally forgive most run-on sentences and pretty much have to forgive nonsensical dribble. (I don't do the opinion section, the doctor says I'm not allowed to read those anymore since the episode with the 9-iron and the fan-boat. Two more meetings!) This last week though, something awful happened: I found an article with no errors! In the April 1, 2009 edition of the Lode, on page 2-A, there is an article written by a Mr. Justin Jones which had no errors whatsoever! It was even interesting! I called up the Lode office and asked if this was some kind of sick April Fools joke. I mean, a Lode article with no spelling or grammar or otherwise mistakes? This had to be a ruse. They assured me that it wasn't and hung up (rather rudely, I thought). Personally, I'm worried about the direction that the Lode is headed. What if there's even less mistakes in the next one? What will we do? That's why I'm urging everyone to get out their dictionaries and highlighters when they read the Lode, look for mistakes, if only to put our minds at ease. I think we owe it to ourselves as a student body to be sure that the Lode stays as batshit crazy as possible. We need a paper that prints hearsay without checking sources and facts. A paper that doesn't edit their work before it's printed! A newspaper that writes articles on events that they may or may not have attended, and then just completely makes shit up. The last thing we need these days, ladies and gentlemen, is journalistic integrity. Please write your senator and local Lode editor and support our cause.